The Adventures of Recalcitrant Toy

Hooray. I am done. And it looks like this:



Well, that's 1/2 anyway before I put them together. And if my T1 stays up long enough, the picture will upload and everything. Yes, my lovely connection has been playing rubber ball tonight. Boingie boingie boing....

One of the hassles of being a newbie knitter is trying to find patterns that balance newness with just a tiny bit of a challenge so that I keep learning. My first sweater pattern was really easy, used bulky yarn and large needles, had no shaping really, and didn't come out half bad. Complexity went up a bit from there, often vanquishing my best intentions, and items turning out not quite what I expected, like a green tank top where I had to rip the bottom out and crochet it in because the pattern was made of fail.

So I'd been trying to find a tank top pattern that would work with what yarn I had, what skills (or lack thereof) I could muster, and that wouldn't drive me completely insane. So I tried one that I swear was written for someone who curves in really weird ways, with a big butt, big bust, and like NO WAIST. Pity I didn't find that out before I was mostly done the back half. So, rather than try to fiddle with making the waist bigger, and after consulting several knitting people and rejecting the idea of gussets, I ripped it out and began another pattern that looked really cool and seemed relatively easy. Cept for one thing....I couldn't seem to get the lace bottom part right. I tried and tried, but it was just not going to happen. So I ripped that out and found yet another pattern, this one claiming to be "easy." I followed the pattern exactly, stitch count was correct, technique was correct (after double checking this as well), it just didn't LOOK like the pattern in the picture. BAH!

So I ripped that one out too, modified the pattern to be just ribbing, and am doing that for a tank top. Perhaps I will actually get through it this time :-).

What a fool I was. It was pretty. I liked it. I thought it would make a gorgeous thin scarf. I bought it. I was happy. The happiness didn't last. I tried to unravel it so I could roll it into a ball. I now have a tangled wrath of knotted hell that I spent all day yesterday and up until 6 am this morning trying to undo.

It's still not done.

I am but a nincompoop. They have these things called "ball winders." They are purportedly not an SM device, although I have yet to investigate. I have no idea whether one of these would have been useful.

I will NOT LET THIS YARN WIN!

And I have a silly question. You know how so many patterns have so many modifications for different sizes and all? I can usually follow these without too much difficulty, but I've run into something confuzzling. It is going through its list of decreases, and we get to this:

Dec 1 st. each side this row, EOR 6 times (which I took to mean decrease 1 stitch on each side every other row 6 times (yielding 12 rows)), then every 4 rows 2 times, which I am taking to mean after the 12 rows, knit 4, decrease 1 stitch on either side for 2 rows, bringing us now to 18 rows, then it says every 6 rows 0 times. Does this mean that I knit another 6 rows, bringing it to a total of 24 rows total?

Same type of question for in the increases. The first thing it tells me is to increase 1 stitch each side this row, every 8 rows 0 times, etc. etc.

Can someone please shed some light for this confused individual? I'd really appreciate it :-)

Today, I found a new craft store (new to me anyway) A.C. Moore. Walking in, it struck me as a huge Michaels, complete with whiny children (Momeeeeee, I want to show you this NOOOOOOOW), and LOTS of patterns, LOTS of yarn I hadn't seen other places, etc.

But someone please tell me....why does this shop sell GARDEN GNOMES?

Michaels, whiny children...check. Lots of yarn...check. Lots of other strange things....check. Garden gnomes? No. But they did have PADDLES. As in big ole almost frat boy paddles. Why? Someone tell me WHY?!?!?!

I bought a sweater making for complete dumbasses book, some yarn and needles for it, and I am about to attempt my first sweater. There may be much whining. Perhaps I need to take my mother to a craft store first :-).

The pattern SAID "easy." And, to be fair, the stitch is dead simple stockinette. I was looking for something quick and easy to start my foray back into knitting. So I searched free patterns on the net, and found one for a sofa throw that I thought would look cool on my cranberry sofa if I changed the colors around a bit. It said it was really fast to do and great for beginners, so I thought this was the pattern for me. I dutifully ordered the yarn, the needles, etc., and when everything arrived, I thought I would knock this throw out really quickly and move onto something else. Well, I moved onto other stuff all right, but this throw is maybe 1/3 done. Why? IT IS NOT EASY!!!

Those lying bastards didn't tell me that size 50 knitting needles, much like vampire stakes, are SUCH a pain in the butt to knit with, nor did they tell me the follies associated with 5 strands of yarn at once. "Your gauge will vary in this pattern." No SHIT Sherlock. My gods is this a pain in the hands.

So maybe I'll be done with it..... in a year or so :-).

Meantime, the scarf I'm knitting on size 10 needles is coming along nicely and is about 5 feet long now. I figure I'll take it to 7 and be done with it. I forgot how to bind off, however, so I may have to whine at lonebear or vvalkyri to find out how. Oh yeah, and that fringe thing. Never did fringe.

Can you tell I'm bored today?

Anyone got any experience doing these sorts of things? A certain calvinthedeeple is complaining that he gets really cold during the winter not having fur and all, and his wife and girlfriend and son are also rather chilly. I figured I could make stuff for them to size, and likely cheaper than buying them, and given the abuse they put on such things perhaps do several at once to last through the winter.

Believe it or not, I can do rudimentary knit/perl patterns, and can do relatively simple crochet patterns.

If anyone has any ideas, please to let me know. calvinthedeeple thanks you in advance.